while checking my email,i noticed a funny picture of finger sent by my frenz.
so, as usual,i want to share the picture with u all..
.
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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Funny Pic i received today..(4/6/08)
Posted by Sharing Is Caring | 12:38 PM | creative, finger, funnyGuy Meets Girls Of His Dreams......
A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?"
"Okay. But it won't do you any good.
"A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?"
"Okay. But it won't do you any good."
He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, "Okay. But it won't do you any good."
They get to his apartment and he says, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife."She says, "Oh, that's different. Send her in."
Upside Down....
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:
Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?
The wife put down her drink and said. . .
"Nah... let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down!"
Bad luck......
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck”
The Best Love Letter.....
My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda),
You are my TVS SCOOTY(first
love) and my AIWA (pure passion). I always BPL (believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (better than the best). You are DOMINO'SPIZZA (delivering a
million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh)feeling for me. I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your mother who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my mother who is CEAT (born tough) , but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON
(The josh machine) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS(the coolest ones). If our mother say no, we will run away and marry, and PHILIPS (let's make things better).
They will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in
COCA-COLA (jo chahe ho jaye) . Trust in God who's always NOKIA(connecting people) who love each other. And do not forget that we a re WILLS (made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE ?(fun fast
easy) and PARX (always comfortable). So never forget me.
Ok bye!
I wrote little but actually PEPSI (yeh dil mange more)!!.
Yours
LG (digitally yours).
Funny Answers to Science Test Question......
These answers are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. It is truly amazing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades:
"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."
"For dog bite: Put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
Laws in Alabama...
The penal code in Alabama contains many less-than-conventional laws. Here are some of them,
· It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
· You may not drive barefooted.
· It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
· It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
· Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
· Masks may not be worn in public.
· Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.
· Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
· Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
· It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
· Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
· Incestous marriages are legal.
· It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
· You must have windshield wipers on your car.
· You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
School gifts....
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
heee...
Joe and Johnny Jokes....
Joe and Johny were fixing a bomb in a car.
Joe : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?
Johny : Dont worry, I have one more.
Joe was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Johny asks: Y r u removing a wheel from your auto?
Joe: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Joe: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Joe: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
Johny: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Johny: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is All India Radio!
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Johny: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Joe joined a new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.Boss is happy and asks : "What work did u do?"
Joe: "Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright..."
Johny proposes to a girl. Girl says, " Listen, I'm one year older to you"
Johny: "Ok, no problem darling, I will marry you next year."
Joe enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Joe seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Joe replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Joe tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Joe says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
Joe goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.
Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.
Joe was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful lady.
He whispered into her ear, "I love you."
She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too". then he whispered, "I love you three."
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